


Untitled 1

by InvisibleArmour



Category: Supernatural
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-04
Updated: 2013-06-04
Packaged: 2017-12-13 22:46:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/829745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InvisibleArmour/pseuds/InvisibleArmour
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam Winchester's broken prayer in the season 8 finale</p>
            </blockquote>





	Untitled 1

Um. Hey. God, I guess, or whoever’s up there. If there’s anyone up there. I haven’t done this in a long time, so I’m gonna be a little rough. No more scabbed knees or sweaty palms, no more prayers to get some girl to like me, or dad to love me, or for mom, just mom. This- this is real.

I used to come to church a lot. You know, if you can know, but dad didn’t. And dean didn’t. I knew I was messed up then, Jesus, i knew, but you should fucking see me now. I’m a mess, I’m useless, and I’m dying. And that’s okay.

 

I’m apologizing, mostly, I guess. I have to do this, for the trial, but I need to do this too. All I’ve ever wanted is to be pure.

I’m just tired of wasting people’s time, people’s lives. I ruin things, stain things, break everything I touch. I’m not safe, I’m not fair, and I’m barely fucking human. I know I’ve always been a freak, and I should’ve listened to everyone who ever told me so. I should have died, killed myself, like so many people said. Like dad said once, and dean. And everyone who I’ve ever touched.

But now I’m saying it. I’m sorry for me, I’m sorry for all this, and I swear it will all be over soon. When the gates close, I’ll lock myself in, if I don’t die before. The world will be saved, the hunt will be over, and dean will finally be free.

You took Jess because of me. And mom, Sarah, everyone. It’s my fault, all my fault, and I’ve been so selfish. I don’t really know how to end this. Like I said, it’s been a long time. Just- if you’re listening, I’m sorry. I am so, so sorry. Everything’s going to be okay now.

Amen, I guess. Amen


End file.
